Life shouldn't be like this

Ok I haven't blogged in awhile. But enough of that. It's been almost 2 months since Eric left. We still can't talk with out fighting everytime we see each other. But it's getting better. I believe with every fiber of my being he is going threw an early mid life criss's. So I have finally came to the point where I'm just letting me go do what he wants. And hoping one day soon he will relize how much he is hurting his kids. (only seeing them 2 days a week and not calling them) He is acting like he is 17 again. But I guess set it free and if it was ment to be it will come back???
I had so much going on in my life with kids, dogs, house, babbysitting(to pay bills) that I lost controll of taking care of myself. I don't have time to work out and sometimes eat and sometimes don't. That is all about to change today!! I will make the time to workout. I will not spend my whole nite cleaning every little corner of the house..I will fit in a 30 minute work out! I do walk to the post office about everyday. Started taking the kids and dogs for a walk threw the trails they have in town. Just wish I had a sitter to watch them so I could go for a good walk! I gotta get the house unpacked so I can move in the tridmill!
Please let me find the strenght to stay strong threw this...losing Eric, my normal life...and help me lose all this FAT!!

Life is turning upside down

Sorry haven't been on in a few days. My life just changed outta know where. I was getting married in september. But know I guess I'm not. Eric just told me he didn't wanna be together or get married and just moved out. What the hell?? That's all i'm going to say about that right now. I'm just trying to put one day behind the next and move on. We were together for 6 years!! So anyways it helped me lose some weight though. I couldn't eat a thing for 3 days. I have been eating about once a day now. So it's getting better. I did start walking more. But didn't not get to work out this week. Didn't have the engry or time. I have 3 kids and 2 dogs to take of by myself now. Oh and a house to unpack. We just moved in!
I went over to my Aunts tonight for dinner. After dinner we all took a walk. She showed me the trails that lead up to my house and we also went to the park so the kids could play. The fresh air really pooped them out!! We also walked to the post office this morning and played at the park. I got another wicked headache after being outside this morning. I think it's my sinus. But after 2 hours on the couch with blanket over my face I was good to go. Good think baby took a long nap!
I only had 1 soda this week! and it was at the movies with my daughter. I didn't even have that much. and only about 3 handfuls of popcorn. That happened to be one of the days I couldn't eat with out wanting to throw up.
I really used to enjoy my fast pace walks alone with my ipod but now that I have the kids 24/7 guess that's going to be alittle harder. If I get the back room/office cleaned out I can get someone to bring my tridmill in and can run on there at night again.
Ok gotta make a list of things I got to get done this week. I got no car and no job! this should be alot of fun. I'm going thursday though to meet with an avon rep to start selling avon. That should give me alittle extra $. and he said he would pay me support on his paydays. But I think i'm going to get cusdty and apply for child support anyways. Just so I don't have to worry about not get $ to take care of our kids.
Hope every one had a great Easter!

Week 1-Day 1

So here goes the first week. I will weigh in later when I do my wii fit. Maybe I'll walk to post office to. But it's raining!! I'm so sick of this wet weather. Where is the "good" spring weather. I've done good so far. Breakfast was pancakes OJ and little bowl of Cheerios. I got alittle work out giving the puppies a bath!!
I woke up in a crappy mood. Must be the weather. I already feel a sinus headache coming on. What fun. I hope this blog will help me keep on track and help keep me sane. My major goal is to be healthy for my kids and me and be able to keep up with them and not be the fat mom who runs out of energy after 10 minutes of playing. My minor goal is to be a sexy bride!
Off to start my day..Lets hope it's a good one!

Did I forget how to eat healthy and workout?

This is my first time really blogging. I'm struggling with allot of things all at once. Just like many other people out there. First off I am a 27 year mother of 3. Two girls and a boy. And 2 puppies! I'm getting married to a wonderful man this year. Also just moved into our new house.
But my biggest struggle is losing weight and keeping it off. After my second child I had trouble losing the weight. I started walking and when I went back to work I lose almost all that I gained. But after the 3 child I only lose about 15 pounds and keep all the rest. Last fall I was walking 6 days a week and was feeling great. I was even doing weight watchers. I had energy and was finally keeping up with my kids. Over the winter I "kinda feel off the wagon. So close I
doing the best loser workout video and walking on my treadmill.
So once again I have feel off the wagon. My doctor has put me on a diet. No red meat, no fats, low sodium, and work out! Yeah I have the time for all that! Oh and he has also but me on Alli. Hope it works! But I know it's really not that hard. Just plan meals snacks and workout...ok but fit it in with 3 kids, 2 dogs and a wedding to plan and house to unpack. also feeling really depressed lately...ok ok stop making excuses right.
I just needed a place where I can let it all out. Be honest and hope I can find some real help out there.
I feel so bad. I don't even wanna look at myself in the mirror. All I see is failure and Fat and more Fat. I say ok enough lets get back on track. Don't get me wrong I do have support at home just not the right kind I guess. He is skinny no matter what he eats.
So on with the point of this blog. My weight loss story will start tomorrow. I will get back on track with my Alli and eating better and working out. One goal a week!! plus trying to get more work outs in. I'm going to be totally open and hold nothing back with the numbers.
I'll weigh in once a week with workout updates.